Minimalist Self Care For The Overwhelmed

Reclaiming self care from the yawning mouth of capitalism

Imagine the latest iPhone running the latest chip on the latest update, but with 1GB of RAM. Try running more than one application at once, and it crashes gracelessly. That's me. I'm the iPhone.

Overwhelm is my default mode. As someone diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and more than a couple personality disorders that sound like academic qualifications, my days go from having something to do, to thinking I have to do it perfectly, to losing my mind over the million things I have to do to complete the task perfectly, to chickening out of it, to having a mental breakdown because I can't complete a simple task. What a life, right?

And I know I'm not alone. With the ultra-fast pace that the world operates today, where we are fed a constant barrage of information, grapple with endless to-do lists, and labour under the weight of high expectations placed on us by our bosses, society, and sometimes even ourselves, is it any wonder that feeling out of our depths has become a common feature of modern life?

I turned to self care to rescue me from the stress of living in today's world, only to find that the concept has been hijacked by commercialism. Doing what's right for your wellbeing is no longer about tuning into your body and soul, but about buying the latest, shiniest, overpriced product and service or you really don't love yourself like that.

I went from overwhelm to more overwhelm, trying to keep up with the best water bottles that get you to drink more water in a better way, the best yoga mats that melt your tension once you lie on them, the best shoes to take a relaxing walk in, a dozen best routines and a million things to tick off my to-do list before noon. Until I quit.

My mind reeling from all the ways the internet had convinced me it wasn't self care if I wasn't practising it their complicated way, I thought to myself that there had to be a simpler and more sustainable way to ease my stress and live well.

That was when I stumbled upon the concept of minimalist self care.

Self care is the practice of taking an active role in protecting our own wellbeing and happiness in a holistic way. It encompasses activities and practices that we engage in regularly to keep ill health at bay, improve our mental health, and live a better life.

When you choose a healthy meal over junk, you're practising self care. When you take a walk instead of spending another hour bingeing TV shows, that's self care right there.

Self care is the sum total of practices and routines we engage in, whether they relate to our diet, exercise, sleep and relaxation, hygiene, spirituality, etc, that improve our wellbeing.

However, the multi-billion dollar self care industry has diverted from this fundamental principle. We've been sold the lie that self care requires purchasing products or services, turning self care into a commodity rather than a practice. This commercial approach can lead to the misconception that self care is out of reach for those who can’t afford these luxuries.

It’s easy to get caught up in this commercialised version of self care — expensive spa days, luxury skincare products, elaborate wellness routines that nobody can, in all honesty, carry out everyday. 

These things can be enjoyable, but they also can be overwhelming and financially draining. True self care should be accessible, simple, and sustainable, focusing on holistic wellness rather than profit-driven trends.

It’s essential that we acknowledge the impact of the self care industry on our perceptions of wellness; so we know when we're trying to solve our true needs and when we're channelling society's conditioning. 

True self care, at its core, is about tuning into your self, acknowledging your legitimate needs, and finding accessible ways to meet them.

Joshua Becker, founder of Becoming Minimalist, defines minimalism as "the intentional promotion of the things we most value by removing everything that distracts us from it."

I make so bold as to define minimalist self care as the intentional promotion of self care practices that contribute most to our wellbeing by letting go of everything else that doesn't. 

It's about stripping down self care to its essentials, the basics that work for us. It’s about finding simple, effective ways to nurture our mind, body, and soul without adding to our stress. 

While that's going to look different for everyone, the roadmap below can serve as a guide to help each of us on our journey to the self care version that works for us:

1. Tune Into Your Self And Identify Your Needs:

I recommend taking a moment to be in solitude. Just sit with yourself. This can be difficult for a lot of us, but we'll never know ourselves if we don't study ourselves. And as Socrates says, the unexamined life is not worth living.

When we examine our truer self, our values and motivations, we may be surprised to find that the things we actually need are not the things we thought we needed, or the things society has told us we need. 

Discovering what a better life means to us is relieving, and the first step to self care that eases our overwhelm instead of adding to it.

2. SImplify Your Routine:

Now you've discovered what you need, what matters to you, it's time to make sure your routine honours that.

To keep overwhelm locked out, consider ways to simplify how you solve your needs. Ask yourself, Is this the simplest way of going about this that doesn't stress me out? 

If dehydration is your problem and you need more intake of water, maybe the fanciest waterbottle is not what's going to get you drinking. It may be as simple as keeping a bottle of water close to your work station or bed, and setting reminders on your phone to get you to your daily goal.

Maybe you don't need a dozen skincare products and two dozen beauty routines in the morning and another two dozen at night to be clean, smell great, and look nice. 

The trick is to start small, look for the minimal effective dose, and stick to what works. Sustainability should be your keyword.

3. Be True to Your Self:

Embracing minimalist self care means swimming against the current of consumerism. When we're daily bombarded with messages to buy this thing and complicate that process, it can be easy to fall off.

One way to make sure this doesn't happen is to be dialled into yourself. Make it a consistent habit to carve out time to be by yourself and remind yourself of who you are and what works for you. The more you do it, the easier it gets.

Listen to your body and soul. They will always tell you what you need to be doing at any point, and that will almost always be simple. Like breathing mindfully, or shutting down the laptop and taking a walk, or leaving the scene to come back to it later when you're calmer.

Every time I try to be something I'm not, my mental health suffers. Shakespeare said, "To thine own self be true." No truer words have been said.

4. Create a Support System:

Self care is not just a solo journey. We are communal beings, and community will always be important to our wellbeing. 

Surround yourself with supportive people who understand your journey. This could be friends, family, or a support group. Having a network can provide encouragement and accountability.

And there's usually no better way to feel good than to make others feel good. So, lend your support to others as much as you crave theirs. We're all in this together, and we'll make it together.

1. Say No:

Respect your boundaries and your personal capacity. If you can't do it, politely say no. Nobody's indispensable, and the world will move just fine without your needing to lose your mind.

2. Declutter:

Ever felt better after making your bed or cleaning your desk? A cluttered space adds to our stress. Get rid of stuff you don't need.

Decluttering is not just for stuff. Practising mindfulness is a way of decluttering our minds, and it works wonders for reducing overwhelm.

Digital decluttering is also a practice that you'll find beneficial. If you're constantly online and glued to your screen, you begin to lose your sense of reality. And trust the internet to catastrophise everything, making it feel like the world is coming to an end. Every. Single. Time. Unplug, and go touch grass.

3. Get Into Nature:

Gone are the days 'treehugger' was a derogatory term. Studies show that being in nature is a great stress reliever. Best thing is, it's free and has no side effects.

Take off your shoes and walk in the grass, hug a tree, take a walk, talk to flowers. Whatever works for you.

4. Done is Better Than Perfect:

The first time I heard this saying was reading Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic. And it really helps me to put things in perspective.

Perfectionism is one of the biggest enemies of a happy life. What I do is chant the mantra above while I do what I can. It's alright to do an average work. I mean, life would be boring indeed if everything was always perfect.

5. Rest:

You'd think this one would be a no-brainer, but all too often, we forget to take a break and take a well-needed rest. 

Go on. Take this as your rest cue. Close your eyes and breathe deeply. Take a little nap. Recline on the sofa and have a fantasy daydream. Whatever. Just give your brain some downtime. 

For those of us who live with mental health issues, fighting overwhelm is a lifelong journey. But it doesn't always have to feel like we're losing our minds all the time. It can get better with time.

A minimalist approach to self care can be a great weapon in our efforts to keep our stress levels to a minimum. It's all about doing what your body and soul need at any point in time, trusting your instincts, and finding pleasure in simplicity.

Here's to living a better life where overwhelm is not king, dear friend. ❤️